Motherhood Chat Monday: Mom Guilt

I feel like if you're a mom you totally know what I mean when I say MOM GUILT.  It's that sneaky feeling of guilt that creeps up on you at the sheer thought of doing something for yourself or even something for your kids that isn't "right". I became a mom when I was 22 years old so I really don't remember what life was like pre-motherhood aka life without mom guilt. It seems as though everything I do comes with some sort of guilt. If I buy myself something I think about what I could have bought my kids instead. If I'm having fun without my kids I feel guilty that I'm not having fun with them. If I post more pictures of the baby (who is the only one who will still smile for me) I feel bad that I'm not getting enough pictures of the other two. Ryan was my only child for almost nine years and when Ryder was going to be born the thought of having to love and care for another child brought on the mom guilt big time. Don't even get me started on the real stuff like what I am feeding them or how I'm not currently saving enough for their college. It's crazy!!!

My delivery with Ryan was so bad I was knocked out for hours after he was born and I didn't get to hold him right away. That's my first memory of mom guilt. I felt so bad that I had "left him alone" for so long as a newborn. Going back to work after my maternity leave with Ryder was agonizing because he was sick a lot and of course it was all my fault, both that he was sick and that I couldn't be with him.  For almost a year I beat myself up about Reed being born with a rare medical condition when there's absolutely nothing I could have done different to change that.

I wrote this whole blog post not so you could all think I'm crazy LOL but to let you know you are doing just fine and you're not alone. Sometimes you have to pull through the mom guilt to see things for what they really are. If you need a minute to yourself it's perfectly okay and you shouldn't feel bad about that.  Splurge on yourself you deserve it. It's okay to feel the guilt but don't forget to take care of yourself. I should try to take my own advice. Even on the days where you feel like it's mom fail after mom fail you are still doing your best. I've come to the realization that just by worrying as much as I do about my kids that I must be doing something right by them. Also, I think I'd notice if I had an alien living in my house for days. What was the mom from E.T. doing the whole time? Kidding!!

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